I wannas sexs uuuuu
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize