so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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