I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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