they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
