He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
organizing the empties. That sober.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
