..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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