3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize