Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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