in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
