I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
