suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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