The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
