I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
