im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We need a shit load of segways right now
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
