Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
