I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
