I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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