sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize