So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I need water and some morals
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
