she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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