just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
