return my video game
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
