It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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