And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
