She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize