Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm experimenting with sincerity
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
