I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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