you will always have a special place in my vag
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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