We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
