plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Randomize
