I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
