so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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