She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Less talking, more tequila
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
