im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
