would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
