so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
