I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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