It was confusing and full of hummus
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Shame is for Republicans.
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