Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
