Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
