The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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