I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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