She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
