She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
