I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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