"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
