lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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