Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
