And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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