I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
