I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
