I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
