If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
