When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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