That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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