I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
