Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
