Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize