im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize