seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
As shirtless as possible
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
