Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize