I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
