Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
We smell like vodka and hangover
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
