How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Why is your signature on my underwear?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
