Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Floor bacon is actually really good
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
