He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize