Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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