So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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