highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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