tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
NoShamevember. You game?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
