"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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