If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
