TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
