He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
